The Guilt-Ridden Mother
"For when we were come into Macedonia, our flesh had no rest, but we were troubled on every side; without were fightings, within were fears. Nevertheless God, that comforteth those that are cast down, comforted us...."II Cor. 7:5-6
Whenever I take a minute to read or do something unrelated to homeschooling, I find myself confronted with thoughts, such as: "I really SHOULD be preparing tomorrow's science lesson for my thirteen year old," or "I haven't yet checked my eleven year old's math drill", or " Maybe I need to spend time with my youngest, after all I DID push him aside to get caught up on my high schooler's term paper," or "The laundry IS piling up. I guess I better throw in another load while I have a minute."
I feel guilty, as if I am responsible for committing a wrong-doing. My conscience bothers me for leaving, what I perceive as, "something undone."
Every committed Christian homeschooling mother whom I talk with admits that she struggles with guilt. By "committed", I refer to the mother who views her homeschooling as a conviction from the Lord. A committed homeschooling mother, because she views responsibility for her children's education as a calling, rather than a choice, will give her ALL to her children and family. Homeschooling becomes a life style, around which her attention evolves. When something is perceived as a lifestyle, it then becomes a priority, and, as a priority, it will absorb most of her waking hours.
A mother who reaches the level of priority WILL struggle with a certain degree of guilt, when her attention is drawn to anything other than homeschooling.
But guilt, when taken to extreme, can be a fast tract to "burnout"! If "self" is not nurtured, if the spiritual, emotional, and physical needs are constantly pushed aside to meet those of others, discouragement and exhaustion will surely set in.
Spiritually, we need to daily set aside time to spend with The Lord: reading, meditating, praying, and ever keeping in the forefront of our mind that He loves us and has a perfect plan for our lives as mothers, as homeschoolers, and as individuals called to a special ministry.
Physically, it is important that we get sufficient sleep each night, that we eat properly, and that we maintain a decent and comfortable appearance. Practically speaking, it is often hard to avoid the haggard, rushed mode when caring for others, and yet, it is necessary to strive to do so for our own well-being.
Emotionally, it is crucial that we maintain our relationship with our husbands, setting time aside to grow together as a couple. Periodic date-nights, talking sessions, and affectionate moments are important for the health of our marriage. A side interest such as journaling, scrapbooking, needlework, or, in nice weather, gardening, is also good to break the monotony, to clear our minds, and to give us an opportunity to unwind and revamp.
Taking time to nurture our own well-being should not be a source of guilt. Rather, it should be a sign of wisdom in learning to fuel our needs for optimal performance.
Prayer: Lord, it is so easy to feel guilty, and so hard to keep priorities straight. I want to be able to "do it all", and when I stuggle with guilt, I realize that I can't. Please help me to grasp the importance of taking care of myself, so I have more to give to my family.