Getting It Done

By Tori Rollins (Contact)

Homeschooling is hard work! Did you need me to tell you that? Probably not. Looking back over this day, it was a good one . . . but there is just so much activity, all the time . . . all day long. Having two older boys who love wrestling much more than school, a three-year-old who is, by her own declaration, "the queen", and a one-year-old boy who is appropriately nicknamed "The Destroyer", life stays very busy.

Thinking of this, I am reminded of the many times I am asked about the homeschooling lifestyle. I am met with the response, "How do you get it all done?!" or, "How do you get your kids to obey?" or, (and this is my favorite), "When do you ever get time for yourself?". We could spend all day on these three questions, but it is the first one that I feel the Lord leading me to write about.

Getting it all done . . . hmmm . . . have you ever longed to feel like that is happening? I think as homeschool moms we all go through moments (sometimes days and even years) when we daydream about feeling like we've done enough to sit down and relax for a while. We think about cleaning up once in the morning and looking at the same clean house after lunch. We think about going out to lunch with friends and not having to pick McDonalds so the kids will play while we chat. We think of fitting grocery shopping, banking, errands and doctor's appointments into the hours that aren't consumed by school.

Before you start to get discouraged, let me get to my point. I'm not going to tell you that the investment in your kids lives will pay off for eternity because you already know that. I'm not going to labor you with stats and stories of beautiful homeschool families because you know of them as well. I'm not going to tell you that if you would just have your devotions everyday your whole perspective would change, because again, that is true and we know it. And I'm definitely not going to tell you that if you just get organized perfectly all that free time will magically appear (although I've been trying to do this for years!). What I am going to do is give you three ideas that might help you manage life on the days when everything is piling up to the point that public school seems like a nine-month-mom-retreat.

Get lots of sleep

It seems simple, I know. For all of us, sleep is crucial. Getting everything done starts with the ability to think clearly and move efficiently. Sleep is the thing we cut out, when many times it's the thing that is most important (especially for those moms who have newborns or are struggling with an illness). Our human bodies are not made to be supernatural and they require rest to function properly. Are you getting enough sleep? Here are some signs to check:

  1. Does it take three cups of coffee to get you going?
  2. Are you still in your pajamas at lunch time because you oversleep a lot?
  3. Are you short-tempered and easily frustrated?
  4. Do small issues of life send you to tears because they seem insurmountable?
  5. Do you get annoyed with your husband because you can't wait to drop in to bed and he can't wait to spend some personal time together?

Here are some ideas for improving your quantity and quality of sleep.

  1. Set a bed time and stick to it. I am famous for trying to get just one more thing done each night. Depending on your wake up time (NOT depending on the time you feel ready to go to bed) set a bed time that give you at least 6 1/2 to 7 hours of sleep. Some of you may need up to 9. If you have a newborn this is especially crucial. I often fall into the habit of setting my bed time based on how much work I have to do instead of setting it based on how much sleep I need to get!
  2. Give yourself a 15 to 20 minute cat nap during the early afternoon. Even if you don't fall asleep it will give your body the down time it needs in such a demanding lifestyle. This may mean some training with kids to leave you alone for a period of time, and it may mean turning the phone off, but make it happen. (This is especially true if you sleep less than 7 hours each night or if you have a newborn.)
  3. Get some exercise. Isn't that much easier said than done? This is a personal battle each and every day. I recommend it because after a pleasant walk you will feel refreshed, get a burst of energy and sleep better at night. I have walked in the morning and at night and I don't think it matters which one you choose, but I do think you will be amazed at the way it energizes your day. (A quick note: I'm not talking about strenuous exercise, I'm talking about a 2 mile low intensity walk, a short jog, a half hour aerobic video tape or 30 minutes on a treadmill. Something that just gets your blood flowing and the oxygen pumping into your brain cells.)

Shelter your friendships

Friends are priceless in keeping us afloat when we feel like we are drowning in the sea of what we have to accomplish. Having someone to call and consult, commiserate and confide in is one of God's most precious gifts. In the Bible we learn that Jonathan meant more to David than his own family at a very difficult time in David's life. Understanding, however, that a friendship can tremendously influence the way you look at life, you must be very careful about who is surrounding you. Check out Psalm 1 to see how God feels about where our advice and encouragement comes from. Here are some signs that one or more of your friendships are unhealthy:

  • When you get done visiting with your friend do you feel discontent or discouraged?
  • Does spending time with one of your friends makes you envious of her money, looks lifestyle or free time?
  • Do you spend so much time visiting on the phone, in person, or email that it takes away from your home responsibilities?
  • Do you find that you take on the hurt feelings or anger of your friend and feel personally offended?
  • Do you become critical of your husband and kids after sharing daily frustrations with your friend?

Depending on where you live you may be a person who has few friends and is longing for a support group, or you may be a person who has many friends but you're finding they leave you feeling a little like Job. I trust these ideas will help.

  1. Evaluate each of your close friendships by considering if you would want that kind of friendship for one of your kids. Is that friend treating you the way you'd want your child to be treated? Also, ask your husband what he thinks of your friendships. My husband has consistently pointed out positive and negative habits or attitudes I have pick up from my friends.
  2. Search out Godly friends in your local homeschool support group or church. If that is not available to you, online friends can get you through a lonely season. I had never spent any time on a forum until we moved to a new state and I was looking for other homeschooling moms to bounce ideas off of and share encouragement. Some of those people I never even met lifted my spirits in a positive way.
  3. Recognize that people in the Bible did go through times of loneliness and it was then they learned our Heavenly Father is the perfect friend. God may want you to be alone for a season so you learn to turn to Him.

Keep it simple

Don't spend so much time on chore charts, curriculum choices or scheduling systems that you are overwhelmed with keeping it all together. Homeschoolers, as a general rule, are people who think out of the box and aren't afraid to try new ideas. My friends reading this article will laugh out loud because they know how much I love new "systems". Sometimes we bog ourselves down with all the cool and exciting things we think we need to do. Is this you? See if these statements sound familiar:

  • Do you have a closet full of curriculum or projects that you bought and didn't like or you started and didn't finish?
  • Do you find yourself doing hours of paperwork each week/month?
  • Do you find that school is taking so much time out of your day that you are starting to resent it?
  • Does keeping up the housework, school and laundry seem impossible?
  • Are you left most days feeling overwhelmed and guilty?

This point is the most convicting to me. I love charts and systems, schedules and chore lists, a clean house and ironed clothes. Doing all of that, all the time is all-consuming. Throw in church involvement and kids activities and we're back to the sleep problem we talked about a few minutes ago. Following a simple plan each day can relieve you from guilt and pressure.

    Other than the normal things in the day (school, cooking and caring for the children), plan only ONE other major thing to get done that day. If you get it done you will feel a great sense of accomplishment and freedom to relax for a few minutes. This one thing might be a homeschool meeting, church activity, laundry, cleaning or paperwork. Trust me, the rest of the day will fill up before you know it. You will find that over time you will get more done because you'll actually be completing activities or chores.
  1. If curriculum is bogging you down, then find something easy for a time. After a new baby, illness or move you might need to go to a more basic school curriculum where the kids can work by themselves other than questions here and there. Your kids will continue progressing in their academics and they'll enjoy it more when mom isn't so stressed out. Giving up each day because you don't have time to school the kids leaves feelings of guilt and frustration.
  2. Get your kids, husband, friends and family involved. If your kids aren't helping with the daily maintenance of the home then you are missing out and so are they. You need to instill in them a feeling of importance and value that comes with the knowledge they are capable and needed. Don't treat them as slaves, but let them know that in order for the family to work well, each of them has to do their part. Ask your husband if he would like to be a part of the schooling. Let him listen to read-alouds or history lessons, do science projects or take them on a field trip a couple times a year. You'll be amazed at what your husband and kids come up with if you just step out of the way. This is true of friends and family as well. If a friend volunteers to help, take it!

The Lord is working on each of us, everyday, in unique ways. Sharing with you some of the things that He has laid on my heart has been a privilege. So . . . go finish one thing, call a friend to celebrate, and then take a nap!

Tori Rollins is privileged to be married to J Rollins and together they homeschool their four children. Tori and J live in the Imperial Valley of California and are active members of Western Avenue Baptist Church. Besides caring for her family, Tori also teaches piano lessons and enjoys scrapbooking.